I had the beginnings of an interesting discussion with a friend the other day. It was about Wicca and what Wiccans believe in. Not surprisingly, that set me thinking about what I believe in.
This is not the first time I’ve asked myself about this and not the first time since I’ve begun calling myself Wiccan. But only a few days ago, I came across a piece describing the Horned God. It was a totally brilliant description that I cannot summarise with any justice here. But one of the key points were that the Horned God is a healthy male role model, properly integrated with the
religion belief system surrounding Him. This is most unlike the image of God (Yahweh) and Jesus that the Christian Church promulgates. If anything, the latter is a forlorn image of a strongly patriarchal system..
That’s not who I set out to find.
My spiritual journey is taking me further and further away from where the Church is squatting. I’ve already found a Yahweh out here that is not like the one I left behind – the one I couldn’t get close to. And in a recent Kabbalistic meditation, whilst most in our group got difficult to understand messages, mine was one of overwhelming rightness. I’m on the right path, and I’m in the correct place.
In a few months, I get to run a meditation myself with the help of a fellow pagan. I probably don’t need to think about it so soon but doing so is helping me pay attention to the other meditations being put together. It is also helping me think through my own beliefs. My journey into Paganism has been one of wondering where I’m going. The searching has been somewhat casual, I’ll admit. But that doesn’t mean I’ve taken things lightly. I’ve doubted a few times if Wicca is for me. And then I see a new angle, and it makes sense again. I’m getting used to the cycle of the moon and the cycle of the year, so much so I didn’t realize last Sunday was Palm Sunday – but to a Wiccan that has no meaning. I feel a spiritual connection to the land I live in, but only as a long-term visitor. The indigenous spirituality doesn’t work for me, and yet I can respect it and respect the honouring of it. Instead, I feel a connection to a more European earth-based version, but as borrowed for here. Whatever that really means.
I’m still feeling my way forward, after all.