We sometimes say that an idea or thought that is disruptive to have “come out of left field”. Well, I’ve been quietly exploring what I believe about Life, The Universe And Everything (thank you Douglas Adams for such a wonderful phrase) and some of the exploration is a bit “left field”. Unfortunately, there are many kinds of questions that are not well received outside of an appropriate audience. This is why I started this blog: to ask myself those questions.
I’m a church-goer and have been since I was born. I’ve never fallen away from the church, though I’ve been bored with it or annoyed at it several times throughout the years. I’m currently more annoyed with it and saddened by it than I’ve ever been.
I thought my beliefs had crystallised years ago, to be honest. But in recent years, I’ve actually accepted that I’ve been in a rather sheltered upbringing and that that wasn’t entirely my parents’ fault. My horizons have been broadened, though. and I’m learning to re-examine some of the things I thought done and dusted.
Most people I see taking the sort of exploration I am doing come from a High Anglican or Catholic background. Both of these two churches are steeped in ritual, tradition and structure. However, I was never a part of that. I’ve always been to evangelical churches. I wouldn’t call them conservative, nor would I call them liberal, though, or even progressive. But some of the people I’ve worshipped alongside were thoroughly conservative. And this saddens me.
The church doesn’t have all the answers. It often thinks it does, but it really doesn’t. The actual church I go to seems to know this, but I get the idea it’s resisting this. It remains to be seen if I’m only a few steps ahead of them, or it turns out we’re really heading in different directions.
Meanwhile, I’m looking into Wicca and what that entails. It means I’ve stepped out from under “Christianity” for the moment. And it may be for some while.